How to stop people pleasing
How to stop people pleasing
5 minutes
Merriam-Webster defines a people-pleaser as “a person who has an emotional need to please others, often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires.” Wanting to be liked is part of being human. The problem starts when that desire regularly comes before personal needs, values and wellbeing.
People-pleasing habits often begin in childhood, especially in families where children feel responsible for keeping the peace or managing a parent’s emotions. Over time, this can teach someone to put others first, even when it means ignoring their own needs. The result is often a shaky sense of self and a constant focus on keeping others happy.
People-pleasing often starts early, shaped by a need to keep others comfortable. Rebuilding balance means learning to value inner needs, setting small boundaries, pausing before agreeing, choosing what truly matters, stepping away from unhealthy patterns, and letting go of unnecessary apologies.
Being kind is a strength. It just doesn’t have to come at the expense of yourself.
Changing this pattern doesn’t happen overnight. It starts with a few practical shifts. Click on the link to step through the strategies in this video.
