Enabling Work-life Integration
How to say no (without the awkwardness)
How to say no (without the awkwardness)
3 minutes
Saying no doesn’t need to be abrupt, defensive or uncomfortable. With a simple structure, you can decline requests in a way that feels calm, respectful and clear for both you and the other person.
This guide gives you a step-by-step approach you can use in everyday conversations:
1
Take a strategic pause before responding
It’s easy to say yes automatically. Before you answer, take a moment to gather your thoughts and review your current workload.
Try saying:
“Let me check what I’ve already committed to and I’ll come back to you.” Or "Let me take a moment to think this through".
This gives you space to make a considered choice, not a pressured one.
Try saying:
“Let me check what I’ve already committed to and I’ll come back to you.” Or "Let me take a moment to think this through".
This gives you space to make a considered choice, not a pressured one.
2
Acknowledge the request
Show appreciation or recognition. It keeps the conversation open and respectful.
Example:
“Thanks for thinking of me for this.” or “I appreciate you reaching out.”
This reassures the other person that your no is not personal.
Example:
“Thanks for thinking of me for this.” or “I appreciate you reaching out.”
This reassures the other person that your no is not personal.
3
Say no clearly and simply
Be direct and steady. Avoid over-explaining, it can make your no sound negotiable.
Say:
“I don’t have the capacity to take this on right now.”
Instead of:
“I’m really sorry, I wish I could, I just have so much on…”
A clear no prevents confusion later.
Say:
“I don’t have the capacity to take this on right now.”
Instead of:
“I’m really sorry, I wish I could, I just have so much on…”
A clear no prevents confusion later.
4
Share a brief reason (just one sentence)
This gives context, not justification.
Example:
“I’m focusing on work already in progress and need to protect that time.” Or “Taking this on right now would compromise another deadline (or project) I am working on”
Your reason helps others understand the boundary, not argue with it.
Example:
“I’m focusing on work already in progress and need to protect that time.” Or “Taking this on right now would compromise another deadline (or project) I am working on”
Your reason helps others understand the boundary, not argue with it.
5
Offer an alternative (if helpful and appropriate)
Only do this if you genuinely can or want to support in another way.
Options may include:
• Suggesting another person
• Offering a later date
• Sharing a small resource instead of taking on the work
Example:
“It might be worth checking with ______________ who has capacity right now.” or “Let’s revisit this next month when timelines ease.”
Once you’ve said no, stay steady. This is the moment where many people “accidentally talk themselves back into yes.” No apology. No justification. No reopening the decision.
Options may include:
• Suggesting another person
• Offering a later date
• Sharing a small resource instead of taking on the work
Example:
“It might be worth checking with ______________ who has capacity right now.” or “Let’s revisit this next month when timelines ease.”
Once you’ve said no, stay steady. This is the moment where many people “accidentally talk themselves back into yes.” No apology. No justification. No reopening the decision.
Pulling it altogether
“Thanks for thinking of me. I’m currently focusing on work already in progress, so I won’t be able to take this on right now. It may be worth checking in with the project coordination team, or we could revisit this later in the month. “
Clear. Warm. Respectful. No discomfort required.
by
Hellomonday