Understanding how people respond to feedback
Understanding how people respond to feedback
5 minutes
Feedback is information that tells us how we’re doing against expectations. But not everyone reacts to feedback in the same way. How someone receives it depends on two things:
- Valence: whether the feedback is positive (praise) or negative (criticism).
- Expectancy: whether the person expected it or it comes as a surprise.
Together, these factors shape how someone will repsond – whether feedback motivates growth or shuts it down.
Feedback is one of the most powerful tools for development. It helps us grow, adjust, and perform better. But it’s not just what we say that matters, it’s how and when. If feedback comes in a way that feels misaligned with expectations, it can trigger defensiveness or disengagement. When it’s delivered in the right way, feedback becomes a springboard for motivation, learning, and positive change.
Neuroscience studies demonstrate that the brain responds more strongly to unexpected feedback – whether praise or criticism – making it more emotionally charged (Ferdinand et al., 2016). Large-scale performance studies also show that positive feedback reliably improves outcomes, while negative feedback is only effective when it is expected and delivered constructively (Goller & Späth, 2023).
In fact, when feedback is aligned with someone’s expectations and goals, the impact on their performance significant.
On the flip side, unexpected negative feedback that comes as a surprise often triggers defensiveness and reduces learning.
So how can you use this when giving feedback? Let’s look at a simple framework.
